It’s hard to believe, but I’ve been at my new job for almost
three months already. Thinking back to how completely overwhelmed I was in
those first few weeks, I feel like a completely different person now. On more
than one occasion in those early days, I honestly asked myself, “What the heck
have I done? Can I really hack it in DC? Can’t I just go back to my safe
graduate school cocoon, or better yet to being a kid again?” While in the moment
I was, for lack of a better term, a hot mess, even then I knew there was no
other option but to stay and make it work.
Since then, I have built relationships with my new
colleagues, settled into a new apartment on my own, and am beginning to become
familiar with the area as I explore on weekends. There are still challenging
moments; however, I am confident in my decision and know that I am in the right
place for right now.
With this knowledge in mind, I have been reflecting on my
practice as an academic advisor and how I interact with students on a daily
basis. I’ve held professional positions with a similar capacity before as both
a high school teacher and a professor tutor for college students. And even in my
most recent position as a graduate assistant working with first-generation
college students on a scholarship program, I utilized a similar skill set as
well. In the past when a student has come in with a problem, some of my top strengths
(empathy, harmony, and individualization) have taken over and made me want to
be able to resolve the issue for the student on the spot. When I didn’t have a
quick resolution or didn’t know the answer, I felt guilty and beat myself up
for not being able to “fix” everything.
Recently, however, I’ve been rethinking this method. Some of
the greatest learning experiences in my life have happened when someone could
not provide me with an immediate answer, when I had to be okay with the unknown
for a period time, or, better yet, when I had to figure out the solution for
myself. The majority of the students who have been crossing through my doorway
in the past few weeks have wanted those immediate responses and solutions that
I have been accustomed to giving in the past. Many have been anxious,
overwhelmed, and sometimes a little impatient. Rather than reacting with the
same sense of urgency they were demonstrating, I took the time to think through
what information was absolutely necessary to give the student and what
information I could direct them towards, but require they ultimately find on
their own.
It felt a little
uncomfortable at first, but it’s becoming easier with each passing day. I’ve
also noticed that at the end of the day I still have energy and don’t feel as
physically and mentally fatigued. Perhaps it’s because I’m not giving so much
of myself that I don’t have anything left to give at the end of the day.
Instead, I am energized by seeing students walk out my door equipped with the
knowledge and tools they need to become more independent, to ask questions, to
seek information, and take charge of their lives as the young adults they are.
For those of you out there who are givers like me, I’d like
to challenge you to consider that the old adage “less is more” is often true.
By only giving of yourself what is absolutely necessary, you not only take
better care of yourself but also give that individual what they need to allow
positive growth and change to happen. So take the time to think about what
areas of your life are leaving you feeling drained and make the change. There’s
no better time than now!
